If you’ve ever spent time in horsey facebook groups, you’ll know that there are a few personality types that really stand out….
So, which ones have we missed?
1. The Oracle
All wise and ever knowing…
The Oracle offers such wise & in-depth advice, that it’s a wonder they ever get time away from Facebook.
Us mere mortals thank you for being so generous with your knowledge.
2. The Alien
At the opposite end of the spectrum is The Alien.
Their contributions are so bat-shit crazy, we assume they live on a different planet.
When The Alien senses resistance they respond with ‘Well I’ve been doing it for years and my horse is still alive’
3. The Mother Duck
We love the Mother Duck! She’s the one that offers support and warmth – even in the midst of a group lynching.
She’s not afraid to speak up, even risking her own neck to protect the poor soul under attack.
4. The VET SCREAMER
The Vet Screamer is known to bash out ‘VET NOW!!’ on every health related post.
Swollen fetlock? Rubbed out mane?
Never fear, the Vet Screamer will make you feel like a terrible person for not having the vet on call 24/7.
For those in training, please note the response must ALWAYS be in capitalised.
5. The Google Swerver…
Seemingly unfamiliar with Google, they post questions that would be more easily answered with a 2 second search.
‘Where can I buy a pink halter?’
The Google Swerver’s signature move is to add ‘Photo for Attention’ of hands-free show jumping or standing on a horse’s back.
For reasons unknown, they often start posts with ‘Delete if not allowed’
6. The Lemon Sucker
These cranky f*cks have woken up on the wrong side of bed… every day since birth.
Lemon Suckers can make Facebook groups very depressing.
They’re the ones that will comment ‘Learn to wrap your polos’ on photo that you (were previously) very proud of.
We pray that one day, the Lemon Sucker will learn to simply scroll.
7. The Tackroom Flipper
The Flipper updates their tack room on a weekly basis.
No sooner do they list an album of gear for sale, than they are thumping out ‘Sold!’ on a whole new batch of stuff.
Tackroom Flippers usually suffer from a matchy-matchy identity crisis.
8. The Party Liaison
These geniuses keep groups balanced with games & friendly chatter.
You know… the friendly posts, where people DONT want to stab each other?
They post the type of questions that you’re just busting to contribute to. For example ‘Post a photo of your bays or greys’ – and suddenly the group is alive with compliments and kindness.
9. The Herbalist
*Contributed by Darla N.
These people feel an herb or supplement will cure ANYTHING from colic to the fact that your horse just dropped over dead.
“Needs more turmeric” is not helpful if what u really need is a vet and CPR.
The thought here is that your horse is missing 20 supplements per feeding and you should lay in your bed and wail with grief if you aren’t doing the same!
Which ones have we missed?
Drop a fun name and description of the type of people we might find in horsey facebook groups…